Deep healing

The Art of Retracing

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One of the most beautiful and difficult aspects of a deep healing journey that focuses on detox and nutritional balancing is the phenomena called retracing. This is when we begin to experience strong emotions and physical sensations that make us wonder “Am I healing? Or am I getting sick? Am I getting worse or amidst a breakthrough?” Very often when the symptoms start, it is impossible to know whether or not you are getting worse or retracing. Only in hindsight can we see what has happened. For this reason, retracing can be very scary and worrisome. How one handles these situations will determine their overall success with a lifestyle healing program.

Deep healing is not linear. The body will heal what it can when it can. It wants you to succeed and has an innate intelligent order of operations. The unpredictability and timing can be frustrating, but one must submit to the process and adapt accordingly. Every opportunity is an opportunity for growth. I want to share with you a recent story of retracing to show you what it can look like.

One month ago, I had my heaviest period this decade. After switching to a plant based diet, my periods are moderate to light with one day of heavy flow and total length of 2-3 days. I look forward to my period as a time of reflection, renewal, and cleansing. This period was different. I bled 3 times as much as I normally do. It hit me hard as I am also breastfeeding. The total amount of fluid loss left me feeling weak, anemic, and breathless regardless of what I ate or drank. I was not worried. I knew it would take time to rebuild my blood supply.

During my period, I had dreams and visions of my most traumatic experiences as a child. These particular experiences are ones I wanted to heal and move on for years, but never felt like I knew how to do so. I repressed many of the memories. I have separated myself from those who caused the abuse and trauma, but its not a topic I like to think about or discuss. It became part of my past that started to haunt me, and I didn’t like how it was affecting my present.

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Whenever I feel strong emotions and memories of my past that need to be seen and processed, I go to meditation, often meditation with the use of essential oils in an Epsom salt bath to help release the emotions and cleanse them away. This month I began using orange essential oil in my spiced cider recipe. For three days following ingesting orange essential oil for the first time, I flashed back to every emotional significant experience where I was extremely scared. I flashed back in chronological order starting as an infant, through adolescence, and into adulthood.

I noticed a theme. I was scared and powerless in every flashback. This is how I knew that the retracing was triggered by the orange essential oil and facilitated by intense cleansing in the form of my period. You see, orange is the color of our third chakra that is our power center. In order for me to fully step into my power, I need to face and release every significant moment where I was powerless. The memory will remain, but the stored emotion must be released.

I was so excited when I realized why I was feeling the emotion so intensely, because I knew my body was shifting into its power. However, the symptoms continued and got worse to the point where I became concerned. Am I getting worse due to stress and lack of sleep? I developed mastitis, and it lasted longer than I expected. My breast swelled, my arm hurt, and my lymph became backed up. I used my normal approaches for this situation, such as rest, Epsom salt baths, and cinnamon essential oil. This usually clears up a clogged duct within 24 hours for me. But this time was more complicated.

I store my energy for nurturing others in my left breast. Many of my powerless traumas involved an expectation of over nurturing others in an imbalanced or inappropriate manner. I could feel the heartache these experiences caused. In meditation, the mantra “My heart is in pain.” appeared over and over again. I felt like maybe the constant interrupted sleep of nursing a newborn multiple times a night had taken its toll and that only sleep and patience could solve this discomfort.

Then last night, I had a break through. Before bed, my husband suggested that I was processing something deep that had been stored for a long time. He recommended that I not worry and embrace what that could be. Then I went into meditation and had another intense flashback. I relived my wisdom tooth surgery: the pre-surgery jitters, the comatose state, feeling close to death, the grief of losing a body part, the fear of not being with my mom, and the illness caused by the pharmaceutical drugs.

Retracing anesthesia is as scary as it gets for me. I learned just how harmful and traumatic the surgery was for my mind, body, and soul and that it’s haunted me for over a decade. I was reminded that I was close to death in a comatose state where my body was totally paralyzed, and I was victimized. I was reminded that those drugs leave residues. They can create temporary paralysis symptoms, moments of intense fear, and limit physical range of motions. It weakened my heart and has caused many episodes of dizziness.

I understand that pharmaceutical drugs and surgery have a time and a place, but that they should be used as an absolute last resort. I was reminded why I turn to whole foods, herbs, spices, and essential oil FIRST, and why I invest so much into prevention and healthy foundational habits. I was reminded of how powerful my body is and how my liver protected me from death. My heart kept pumping and has chosen to heal from lack of love, so that I may become unconditional love for my family. I woke up with a feeling of optimism and hope.

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My heart and boob still ache. I still feel the fear and panic releasing. But I know that I am transforming into a more powerful version of myself. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be able to run, jump, and sing. I’m grateful to be able to breastfeed a beautiful little girl. I’m grateful for an amazing supportive husband who does not judge me for my past or emotions and instead holds space for me to heal and grow. I’m thankful for essential oils taking my health to the next level by helping me release such powerful, stored emotions. I’m grateful for the pink roses my daughter picked out. I’m grateful for the wild blueberry pie I had for breakfast. What an amazing opportunity for growth on Thanksgiving Day!

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PS. Did you know that wild blueberries are one of the best foods to help overcome life and death situations? Wild blueberry bushes can be burned to the ground and will come back stronger than ever.

The Energetic Body

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To heal means to become whole. One can only become whole when they address the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of their livelihood. We are all born with a physical body, an energetic body, and a spiritual connection to the cosmos. While many of our health ailments manifest in the physical body, we must look to our energetic body to understand the origin of chronic illness. For we are all born with an energetic body just as individual as our thumbprint and all physical manifestations begin as pure energy.

I’ve been inspired by reading Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy, and Vitality by Donna Eden and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D. These two amazing women have been able to hone in on imbalances in the energetic body and how those energies influence the physical body, disease, and its ability to heal.

What is the energetic body?

The energetic body is also referred to as “etheric body” or “subtle body” and is the first layer of the aura (human energy field). This layer is directly connected to the physical body, sustains the physical, and connects the spiritual realm to the physical realm. Although most people today are unable to visually see auras, we feel them and interact with their energies every day. Those who study energy medicine have the ability to feel and analyze the energetic body.

Chakra and Subtle Body

’Subtle’ energies were described by Einstein as energies we know of because of their effects but do not have the instruments to detect directly… While these subtle energies cannot move a needle on a gauge, many healers know how to engage them to restore health and vitality. (Eden, 21)

Within the energetic body lies seven layers of seven chakras. Each chakra is an energy station of spiraling energy where refined emotional and spiritual information are transformed and distributed into the cells of the physical body. The seven chakras are as follows from bottom top: root chakra, sacral chakra, solar plexus chakra, heart chakra, throat chakra, third eye chakra, and crown chakra. Please note that there are many names for these energy centers depending on the culture of origin, and the locations of the energy centers and associated qualities remains synonymous throughout worldly literature.

Main Chakras

Each chakra spirals through seven layers within the energetic body towards the physical body . The outer layer contained the chaotic energy of recent events that have yet to be fully integrated. The deeper the layer, the more clear and consistent the energy becomes. The fourth layer embodies energy from previous experiences in the person’s life. Memory is encoded in the fourth, fifth, and sixth layers as images and stories. The seventh layer contains issues and wisdom learned from previous lifetimes or ancestors. The color and density of this layer are different than every other layer.

How does the energetic body connect to physical illness?

The following chart gives an overview of how the energetic body connects the physical organs to emotional and mental experiences that stem from personal and inherited experience. The examples illustrate possible correlations between energy imbalance and specific disease manifestation.

Chakra Organs Endocrine Gland Mental, Emotional Elements Energetic Imbalances Examples of Physical Dysfunctions
1)      Root Hip joints, spine, blood, immune system, Vagina, Penis, rectum Ovaries or Testes Survival, safety, security, sense of Belonging, trust, fear, dependence Unresolved family and survival issues, revenge, shame Back pain, sciatica, scoliosis, rectal cancer, chronic fatigue, autoimmune disease, skin problems, low sex drive, ovarian cysts
2)      Sacral Uterus, large intestine, pelvis, appendix bladder Adrenals Drives in outer world for sex, money, power, and relationships, co-creation, fertility, relationship dynamics Distrust, control, blame, guilt, shame about own body, rejection Uterine fibroids, low back pain, pelvic pain, appendicitis, lack of creativity, urinary tract infections
3)      Solar Plexus Upper intestines, liver, gallbladder, lower esophagus, stomach, kidneys, adrenals, Pancreas Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect, sense of responsibility, Substance abuse, inferiority, aggression, defensiveness, territorial, hyper-responsible, irresponsible, repression, lack of inhibition Ulcers, spasmodic colon, Heartburn, pancreatitis, diabetes, constipation, diarrhea, Eating disorders, Liver dysfunction, Adrenal fatigue
4)      Heart Heart, lungs, blood vessels, shoulders, ribs/breasts, diaphragm, upper esophagus Thymus Passion, Compassion, Emotional expression, mutual partnerships, nurture, receptivity Inability to give or receive love from others or self, lack of forgiveness, unresolved grief, hostility, Heart attack, hypertension, heart disease, asthma, allergies, lung cancer, breast cancer, pneumonia, shoulder pain
5)      Throat Trachea, throat, vocal folds, mouth, teeth and gums Thyroid Communication, verbal expression, comprehension, timing, will Inability to speak, lack of listening, willfulness, overly compliant, Bronchitis, sore throat, mouth ulcer, gum disease, TMJ, neck pain, laryngitis, thyroid disease
6)      Third Eye Brain, Eyes, Ears, Nose Pineal, Pituitary Perception, Thought, intuition, Vision Indecisive, inability to tolerate ambiguity, inability to learn, dismissing non-rational thought, lack of vision Stroke, blindness, deafness, dizziness, tinnitus, learning disabilities, seizures, ALS
7)      Crown Spinal cord and brain stem Pineal, Pituitary Morality, life purpose, connection to God, faith, values, Lack of purpose, inability to accept factors beyond control Developmental disorders, MS, life-threatening illness or accident, depression, paralysis

 

How do energetic imbalances cause physical illness?

 Most of the blockages in your vibrational systems are emotional in nature. It’s helpful to think of your vibrational system as being like a stream of water flowing along. As long as this energy flow is healthy and you are feeling good about yourself, there’s much less risk of disease. Environmental toxins, dietary fat, and excess sugar or alcohol (to name a few) usually don’t manifest in disease unless other factors have already set up the pattern of blockage in the body’s energy system in the first place. Environmental or dietary risk factors can be likened to debris carried along in the body’s energy flow. This debris stays afloat unless there is a felled tree or other blockage to the water flowing in the stream. When there is, the debris collects in the branches of the felled tree and accumulates. Over time, similar accumulations in the body’s energy flow can result in physical illness. (Northrup, 68)

Where and how disease manifests in an individual’s body is directly correlated to inheritance, personal experiences, memories, and emotional imbalances that are stored in the energy body. If one is not able to verbalize trauma and is therefore unable to fully process, cope, or adapt to those experiences, then the memories become stored and will show up as physical symptoms. It’s important to note that it is not the memory or the trauma itself that causes problems, but rather the interpretation of the experience and the ability to process. Once physical symptoms have manifested, it’s important to listen to the body’s intuition (a form an internal communication) to know what needs to be addressed emotionally and physically.

What are methods to heal from imbalances in the energetic body?

Meditation, talk therapy, acupuncture, singing, and energy work are methods to locate and address imbalances in the energetic body.

Mona Lisa Schultz, a psychiatrist and medical intuitive, recommends the following four steps to process traumatic memories and experiences.

We (psychiatrists) teach memory maturation. This consists of four steps: (1) locating the traumatic experience in the past and differentiating it from our current reality; (2) focusing on living in the present without feeling or behaving according to irrelevant demands belonging to the past; (3) decreasing hyperarousal by means of mediation, relaxation response, and exercise; and (4) decreasing intrusive reliving and stopping traumatic black hole cycles. (Schulz, 99)

As an energy worker, I am able to pick up on not only where the physical disease is manifesting in specific organs, but also where imbalances lie in the energetic body that have potential to reverse or create physical disease. The chart above is a good general representation on how the energetic and emotional body communicate through physical illness, but each individual’s body has its unique dialect and symbolism. Therefore, it is up to the individual to listen to their intuition and hone in on the specific meaning of their symptoms. This internal work is often the missing link in those who suffer from chronic illness and are not healing, regardless of lifestyle changes.

Book References:

Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy, and Vitality by Donna Eden

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Awakening Intuition: Using your mind-body network for insight and healing by Mona Lisa Schulz, M.D., PH.D.

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