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The Art of Retracing

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One of the most beautiful and difficult aspects of a deep healing journey that focuses on detox and nutritional balancing is the phenomena called retracing. This is when we begin to experience strong emotions and physical sensations that make us wonder “Am I healing? Or am I getting sick? Am I getting worse or amidst a breakthrough?” Very often when the symptoms start, it is impossible to know whether or not you are getting worse or retracing. Only in hindsight can we see what has happened. For this reason, retracing can be very scary and worrisome. How one handles these situations will determine their overall success with a lifestyle healing program.

Deep healing is not linear. The body will heal what it can when it can. It wants you to succeed and has an innate intelligent order of operations. The unpredictability and timing can be frustrating, but one must submit to the process and adapt accordingly. Every opportunity is an opportunity for growth. I want to share with you a recent story of retracing to show you what it can look like.

One month ago, I had my heaviest period this decade. After switching to a plant based diet, my periods are moderate to light with one day of heavy flow and total length of 2-3 days. I look forward to my period as a time of reflection, renewal, and cleansing. This period was different. I bled 3 times as much as I normally do. It hit me hard as I am also breastfeeding. The total amount of fluid loss left me feeling weak, anemic, and breathless regardless of what I ate or drank. I was not worried. I knew it would take time to rebuild my blood supply.

During my period, I had dreams and visions of my most traumatic experiences as a child. These particular experiences are ones I wanted to heal and move on for years, but never felt like I knew how to do so. I repressed many of the memories. I have separated myself from those who caused the abuse and trauma, but its not a topic I like to think about or discuss. It became part of my past that started to haunt me, and I didn’t like how it was affecting my present.

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Whenever I feel strong emotions and memories of my past that need to be seen and processed, I go to meditation, often meditation with the use of essential oils in an Epsom salt bath to help release the emotions and cleanse them away. This month I began using orange essential oil in my spiced cider recipe. For three days following ingesting orange essential oil for the first time, I flashed back to every emotional significant experience where I was extremely scared. I flashed back in chronological order starting as an infant, through adolescence, and into adulthood.

I noticed a theme. I was scared and powerless in every flashback. This is how I knew that the retracing was triggered by the orange essential oil and facilitated by intense cleansing in the form of my period. You see, orange is the color of our third chakra that is our power center. In order for me to fully step into my power, I need to face and release every significant moment where I was powerless. The memory will remain, but the stored emotion must be released.

I was so excited when I realized why I was feeling the emotion so intensely, because I knew my body was shifting into its power. However, the symptoms continued and got worse to the point where I became concerned. Am I getting worse due to stress and lack of sleep? I developed mastitis, and it lasted longer than I expected. My breast swelled, my arm hurt, and my lymph became backed up. I used my normal approaches for this situation, such as rest, Epsom salt baths, and cinnamon essential oil. This usually clears up a clogged duct within 24 hours for me. But this time was more complicated.

I store my energy for nurturing others in my left breast. Many of my powerless traumas involved an expectation of over nurturing others in an imbalanced or inappropriate manner. I could feel the heartache these experiences caused. In meditation, the mantra “My heart is in pain.” appeared over and over again. I felt like maybe the constant interrupted sleep of nursing a newborn multiple times a night had taken its toll and that only sleep and patience could solve this discomfort.

Then last night, I had a break through. Before bed, my husband suggested that I was processing something deep that had been stored for a long time. He recommended that I not worry and embrace what that could be. Then I went into meditation and had another intense flashback. I relived my wisdom tooth surgery: the pre-surgery jitters, the comatose state, feeling close to death, the grief of losing a body part, the fear of not being with my mom, and the illness caused by the pharmaceutical drugs.

Retracing anesthesia is as scary as it gets for me. I learned just how harmful and traumatic the surgery was for my mind, body, and soul and that it’s haunted me for over a decade. I was reminded that I was close to death in a comatose state where my body was totally paralyzed, and I was victimized. I was reminded that those drugs leave residues. They can create temporary paralysis symptoms, moments of intense fear, and limit physical range of motions. It weakened my heart and has caused many episodes of dizziness.

I understand that pharmaceutical drugs and surgery have a time and a place, but that they should be used as an absolute last resort. I was reminded why I turn to whole foods, herbs, spices, and essential oil FIRST, and why I invest so much into prevention and healthy foundational habits. I was reminded of how powerful my body is and how my liver protected me from death. My heart kept pumping and has chosen to heal from lack of love, so that I may become unconditional love for my family. I woke up with a feeling of optimism and hope.

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My heart and boob still ache. I still feel the fear and panic releasing. But I know that I am transforming into a more powerful version of myself. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be able to run, jump, and sing. I’m grateful to be able to breastfeed a beautiful little girl. I’m grateful for an amazing supportive husband who does not judge me for my past or emotions and instead holds space for me to heal and grow. I’m thankful for essential oils taking my health to the next level by helping me release such powerful, stored emotions. I’m grateful for the pink roses my daughter picked out. I’m grateful for the wild blueberry pie I had for breakfast. What an amazing opportunity for growth on Thanksgiving Day!

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PS. Did you know that wild blueberries are one of the best foods to help overcome life and death situations? Wild blueberry bushes can be burned to the ground and will come back stronger than ever.

EBV: The Gut Inflammation Connection

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The Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV) and consequently full blown mononucleosis (mono) can be Kryptonite for even the strongest superheroes. A happy, productive person can turn into a shell of their previous self who hibernates as their liver, spleen, lymph nodes, and possibly brain swell.

I’ll never forget Jan 1st, 2014. It was the day the EBV took over my body and turned into an intense case of mono. My level of fatigue was so severe that walking ten feet from the couch I was laying on to the bathroom was a daunting feat. My body was under so much physical stress that any additional mental stress would trigger seizures. My adrenals were depleted. My motivation to do anything was completely gone. I was in enormous amounts of pain. I was unable to work. At times speaking or standing was more than I could bare.

I had tested positive for EBV two years before I developed any symptoms. I wondered what caused this virus to activate and how could I reduce the symptoms so I could return to living my beautiful life. I initially looked to medical literature for answers, which was incomplete at best. This is what I read.

What causes Mono? EBV.

This answer is incomplete. It does explain why I was able to be infected with EBV without mono symptoms. It does not explain what activated the virus. This answer essentially claims they have no idea what causes mono.

What is the treatment for Mono? There is no treatment available. Drink fluids, get plenty of rest, and avoid contact sports to prevent the Spleen from rupturing.

Without understanding the cause, it is impossible to recommend an effective treatment. Avoidance is not the answer. Much more can be done, but we will get to that later.

How long does Mono last? The virus has an incubation period of 4-6 weeks. Once the body builds up antibodies, then it is immune and the illness will not return.

FALSE. The time period of mono varies from person to person and can return. My first bout of mono lasted four weeks, but I fought in on and off for over a year. If I took one wrong move, then mono would return. In fact, I’ve been battling mono this past week, which inspired me to further research the cause of EBV activation.

To begin to understand the cause of EBV activation, we have to look from a perspective that views viruses as symbiotic organisms, not demons. According to Antoine Béchamp’s Pleomorphism Theory, germs are the result, not the cause of disease. An unhealthy terrain creates a breeding ground for viruses and bacteria. In fact, virus activation is the most effective method for the body to overcome a toxicity crisis. They initiate a strong immune response that cleans up dying tissue, increases blood flow, and provides nutrients to the site of toxicity thereby restoring it back to health. Therefore, a negative change in terrain can cause a dormant virus to become active.

The Missing Gut Inflammation Connection

As soon as my EBV symptoms returned this week, I began to dissect my every move. What changes had occurred in the terrain of my body to allow this virus to reactivate? My diet, activity level, and sleep had remained consistent. However, I had been passing a large amount of rope worms after liver flushing and daily coffee enemas. Rope worms are extremely toxic. The colon becomes inflamed as they pass. I experience severe bloating, liver congestion, fatigue, and heavy metal poisoning. As soon as the rope worms are flushed out of the colon with an enema, the gut inflammation significantly decreases and my EBV symptoms disappear. Was I on to something? Was severe gut inflammation the cause of EBV activation? I looked to scientific research for evidence to see whether or not my theory had a valid basis. Bingo!

A study performed at the University of Rochester Medical Center analyzed and compared the amount of EBV DNA in the mucosal lining of health individuals to that of individuals with various bowel diseases. Here is what they found.

“RESULTS: EBV DNA was essentially undetectable in normal gastric mucosa but was present in 46% of gastritis lesions, 44% of normal colonic mucosa, 55% of Crohn’s disease, and 64% of ulcerative colitis samples. Levels of EBV DNA exceeded what would be expected based on the numbers of B lymphocytes in inflamed tissues, suggesting that EBV is preferentially localized to inflammatory gastrointestinal lesions.” (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22410851/)

Essentially, EBV prefers to activate in lesions of the stomach and intestines. When there are lesions in the stomach and intestines, unwanted particles pass through the gut lining into the bloodstream. This can create blood toxicity and therefore incite a systematic viral infection associated with inflammation in the lymph system, also known as mono.

Treating EBV/Mono

Since gastrointestinal lesions may be at the core of EBV infections, one must become a detective and determine what is causing their lesions. Often times, parasites, heavy metals, and a poor diet can cause gastrointestinal lesions. Therefore, it is important to eat a clean, whole-food diet, gentle exercise, drink plenty of water, rest when possible, and detox the body.

I recommend starting with soft, easy to digest foods that promote gut healing. Bananas are soft, easy to digest, and are a great pre-biotic, which feeds the good gut bacteria and promotes gut balance. Cooking anti-inflammatory vegetables increases nutrient availability and absorption while reducing gut irritation. This is not the time to load up on raw vegetables or fiber-rich grains. Pro-inflammatory foods, such as grains containing gluten, dairy, meat, nightshades, refined sugar, and alcohol should be avoided. Coconut oil is particularly helpful as it is anti-viral, antimicrobial, and full of medium length chain saturated fatty acids that promote energy and healing. Turmeric and cinnamon should generously added to meals as they greatly reduce inflammation. Anti-parasitic herbs, such as clove, may also be helpful. Taking chlorella will help bind heavy metals and reduce gastrointestinal irritation.

If you can muster up the energy, exercise at a level your body can tolerate. This will help get the lymph flowing, reduce pain and dehydration, and boost the immune system. Intense exercise should be avoided, since the adrenals are already over-taxed over-training will reduce your body’s energy reserve for healing purposes. Yoga, rebounding, and DIY pressure point deep tissue massage with a tennis ball are great to promote blood circulation, reduce pain, and decrease fatigue.

If you are too weak to exercise, then I recommend a warm Epsom salt bath or sauna therapy. These detox methods will promote blood circulation, get the lymph flowing, and reduce organ swelling without the exertion required by exercise. When my symptoms became unbearable, I immediately soaked in a warm Epsom salt bath and drank lots of water to stay hydrated. Coffee enemas are another great detox method, especially if you have a parasitic infection. They flush out parasites and worms that may be causing gastrointestinal inflammation and lesions while healing the swollen liver. During a coffee enema, intracellular glutathione increases 500-700%. Glutathione is the body’s most powerful anti-oxidant, so inflammation decreases dramatically.

Incorporating the previously mentioned lifestyle factors will speed up the healing process, thereby reducing the length and severity of EBV infections and mono. With a greater understanding of the purpose and cause of infections, we no longer need to fear them. We should view the symptoms as a reminder to love ourselves by incorporating healthy lifestyle changes.